Cosmic Defence Forces On High Alert in Russia


Russian Army prepares for cosmic assault

On orders of the Defence Minister Sergey Shoigu, the air and cosmic defence forces, long distance and military transport aircraft have been put on alert and are ready to carry out orders when given.

[Note: while “Водушно-космическая оборона” is officially translated as “aerospace”, it is perhaps an oversimplification: the body is responsible for defending against threats from outer space as well as airborne threats, so it has been translated here to reflect the Russian more literally.]

“As you know, at a debrief following sudden inspections of the troops and paratroopers of the Southern military district on the 13th May 2013 in Sochi, the president of the Russian Federation set the task of continuing to monitor our state of military alertness and our ability to perform tasks in various conditions. To this end, this morning, in accordance with a decision by the defence minister, the air and cosmic defence forces, long distance and military transport aircraft, as well as the air force and the air defences of the Western military district have been put on alert and are ready to carry out orders when given”, “Interfax” quotes the General Chief of Staff of the Russian Armed Forces, General Valery Gerasimov from a conference call on Monday.

In recent times, the political and military leadership of the Russian Federation have repeatedly pointed out the need for sudden military exercises in the various branches of the Russian army.

Comments from


How much is this protection from little green men costing us?

Владимир-3965: (responding to above)

Don’t count the aliens’ money! They’re paying us in quad-core processor technology!

mak031970: (also responding to previous commenter)

Less than Serdyukov & co. [Note: former Defence Minister]


Darth Vaders will not pass.


“If you throw a stone in the air, because of gravity, it’ll fall to the ground.”
“But what if it falls in the water?”
“Not our problem, the navy deal with that.”
– Air force

Михаил Фельдман:

A company of riot police were sent to destroy a cannabis plantation. Having carried out their job, they declared themselves a division, and flew off into space to fight Pokemon.


Blin! This means the martians will shoot at us again soon!


In short, the money is once again off to “help develop skiing in Africa” [Note: embezzled]

Владимир-3965: (responding to above)

Exactly! And skating on Lake Victoria! (again – in the middle of Africa) :)

Юный слесарь:

The army is prepared for war.

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